During the divorce process my x really put on a show

My oldest son is 11 and I have a son & daughter (twins) who are 8. During the divorce process my x really put on a show. Took the kids to church, coached my daughters soccor team and went to parent teachers conference without even letting me know their was one. Now that she has custody, she constantly drops them off at her sister whos living on social security with a supposive “back injury” in a really bad part of town. The kids hate it over there. She’s off jet setting around on my $1200 a month CS. Almost every visitation weekend she comes to pick up the kids with a different boyfriend.

O.K., here’s my plan: wait for about 2-3 years. live cheaply between now and then and save some good money. Buy a nice respecible house at least as good as the one the x is renting now. I’ve been dating a girl for about a year now who is very understanding of my situation and want to help me out as much as she can. We are thinking about getting married, but she still has about two years to finish her college degree. I know, getting married again is very scary. But she’s willing to be a stay at home mother (she has a child of her own) at least for a while if it would help my case.

When I go for the kids, I’ll make sure to ask around and find a GOOD lawyer in my area. Then I’m hoping to show the Judge, that I can provided a better environment, with a stay at home parent and with the kids being 11 & 14 them wanting to come live with me. I’m thinking I should try to keep this plan secreat from my x until the date or else she will go back to putting on the good mother “act”.

It’s encouraging to hear stories like yours and that it is possible for the Dad to get custody. The courts seem so against us. The worthless lawyer I had before was the one who recommend the Guardian Ad Litem.

I’m trying to lay the ground work know. I contacted the school, doctors and trying to get involved. I’ve started a journal and taking pictures of our group outings. The only way the x and I communicate is by letter, so taping isn’t going to be to useful, although she has crossed the line a couple times in her letters, which I saved. I’m also hoping that in that time the x does something stupid like a DUI or drug arrest.

I thought about waiting a year and asking for joint custody, but I think that would probably be a waste of time, money and effort. What do you think, and advice. I truely appricate you sharing your knowledge and experience.